Bodies Hit the Floor Cover Funny

My car got stolen yesterday !!

I thought of calling the cops but then realized it was better not to call them and let the car thief take care of the dead bodies in my trunk.

They should play "Let the bodies hit the floor"

On Life Alert commercials.

Did you hear about the airplane that crashed into a cemetery?

They recovered 12,000 bodies.

What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull?

A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies.

Plane crashed in graveyard

Police recovered 2000 bodies.

What does the chemistry teacher like to do with his dead bodies after he kills 'em?

Barium.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Six hasn't been the same since he came back from Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Charlie hiding in the darkness, dead bodies hanging in the canopy, and remembers the smell of blood and gunpowder.

When he sees seven, he is reminded of those days.

Bodies joke, Why is six afraid of seven?

A helicopter crashes in a graveyard...

the police recovered 300 bodies.

Helicopter crash

A helicopter crashed today over a cemetery on the outskirts of the city. So far the authorities have recovered over 200 bodies.

Why are hipsters such great assassins?

Because they hide the bodies in places no one has ever heard of.

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning

when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

You can explore bodies dispose reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bodies rescuers dad jokes. There are also bodies puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

There's an old Italian man

There's an old Italian man, and every year, he and his son plant a tomato garden together. This particular year, however, the son is in jail, and so the old man writes him a letter.

"My son, it is regrettable that you can't be here to plant the tomato garden with me this year. The soil is too hard for me to dig myself. I look forward to the day you come home so we can continue this tradition together."

The son writes back, "Father, don't dig up the tomato garden, that's where the bodies are buried."

That night around 2 AM, the police show up at the old man's house with a warrant to search the ground for bodies. After several hours of digging around, they find nothing, apologize to the man, and go on their way.

The next day, the man receives another letter from his son, "Father, given the circumstances, this was the best I could do. You should be able to plant the tomatoes now."

Tragedy in Poland

The worst air disaster in Poland's history occurred today when a two-seat Cessna 120 crashed into a cemetery.

So far 374 bodies have been found.

Polish search and rescue officials indicate that the number will probably rise as they continue to dig.

The difference between a crow and a raven.

A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.

A husband calls his wife from his office, and the maid picks up...

The husband ask, "Hello, is my wife around?"

The maid responds with, "No, sir, she's upstairs with her boyfriend."

The husband, completely enraged, orders the maid to kill both his wife and her boyfriend.

Wen the maid returns, she asks what she should do with the bodies. The husband instructs her to simply toss the bodies in the pool.

Silence comes from the other end, and after a few seconds, the maid says, "Pool, sir?"

The husband looks down at his phone and says, "This isn't 229-6342, is it?"

A friend told me he was walking by a cemetery last night.

A friend told me he was walking by a cemetery last night, and claimed he witnessed the gravedigger handing over several bodies to a shady-looking man wearing a trench coat.

"Hmmm, seems unlikely," I said. "are you sure that's what you saw?"

"Absolutely," he replied. "It was a dead giveaway."

Bodies joke, A friend told me he was walking by a cemetery last night.

Why are giraffes' necks so long?

Because their heads are so far from their bodies.

What do you call the sweat on the bodies of two people having sex in West Virginia?

Relative Humidity

Air tragedy in Newfoundland...

A two-seater single engine Cessna 152 crashed in foggy conditions near the Gander airport, crashing into the nearby cemetery.

Newfie rescue squads have recovered 385 bodies so far, and that number is expected to climb as digging continues.

Breaking news: A helicopter has crash landed into a cemetery in Ireland

The pilots didn't survive, and so far local police have recovered 956 bodies.

Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

I was painting the house with my kids yesterday.

It was fun and all, but I wasn't sure where to hide the bodies.

What has five bodies and one soul?

A Kia full of Gingers.

Last night, a two-seat, single engine plane crashed in a Polish cemetery.

Polish authorities report that they have recovered five hundred bodies so far and believe thousands more may still be found.

Engineering students are always confused by women...

....why do the ones with the most streamlined bodies put up the most resistance?

Sometimes I look out over the new construction in my city, old ground being dug up to make room for the new, and I think to myself:

I really should have buried the bodies somewhere else.

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

Did you hear about the tragic crash of the small plane into the cemetery?

So far they've recovered 324 bodies.

Army Wargames

During an Army war game, a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.

"Sorry sir, "said one of the loafers, "but we've been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn't contribute in any way."

The officer turned to his driver and said, "Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction."

They helped.

Her: Wanna come over? Him: I can't, I have to get rid of some bodies

Her: My Parents aren't home
Him: I know

Breaking news

This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.

If I ever become a serial killer I am going to dispose of my victim's bodies by throwing them into a bottomless pit

It's a floorless plan.

Minnesota's worst air disaster occurred earlier today...

...when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a Norwegian cemetery there early this morning.

Ole and Sven, working as search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Did you hear about the two-seater plane that crashed into the graveyard?

Over 50 bodies have been recovered. Which is odd, considering its a two seater plane.

A farmer gets a call from his son in prison...

They talk for a bit. The farmer mentions that times have been hard with his son not around, and that he's getting too old to dig up the field. The son responds back, "DAD! NO! That's where all of the bodies are hidden!" The FBI swarms the farm, digging up every inch of the field and the son calls back the next day, "Hey dad, that's the best I can do."

When women wear a bikini, they expose 90% of their bodies.....

Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.

New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion...

...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.

Everyone knew it was the Spanish train operator who was behind the dead bodies hidden at the train station.

He always had a locomotive.

What does a snowman have in common with an ocean?

They're both bodies of water!

I've scoured the celestial bodies for humor.

The real joke's always in the comets.

Why doesn't the mafia like elephants?

Bodies don't fit in the trunk.

A helicopter crashed into a cemetary

So far 2 survivors and 300 bodies have been found.

There are two kittens sitting on a steep roof. Which one falls off first?

the one with the smallest *mu*

**Preemptive explanation:**

Coefficient of friction. The coefficient of friction (COF), often symbolized by the Greek letter µ (pronounced *mew*), is a dimensionless scalar value which describes the ratio of the force of friction between two bodies and the force pressing them together.

A guy tries to sell his first painting ever...

So he goes to an art dealer to show it to him.

"What is it titled?" - the dealer asks.

"Me at the bar, drinking."

"But all I see is two nude bodies. Who are they?"

"My neighbor and my wife, f\*cking"

"And where are you?"

"At the bar, drinking."

Authorities fear that the collapsed bridge in Genoa was made with 'Mafia' concrete.....

....they've found 6 more bodies than there were people missing.

I was planning to donate my body to science,

but then I realised science has plenty of bodies already.

So now I'm donating my brain to religion instead.

Why dont anteaters get sick?

Because they are filled with anty bodies.

4 Norse Gods, 1 Roman God, and 2 Astrological bodies walk into a bar.

The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke.

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...

"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.

"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

"Ok, so what about the third body?"

"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is *he* smiling then?"

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

It took a lot of balls for my friend to sign up for the reality TV show Embarrassing Bodies .

Well, three to be exact.

Three bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...

"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, who had a heart attack while making love to his mistress, hence the smile." says the coroner.

Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won the lottery and spent all his money on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Sean, the Irishman, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is *he* smiling then?"

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

*My grandfather told me this one as a kid so I hope you enjoyed!*

Why don't ants get sick?

They have anty bodies.

Do you know why ants are never sick?

It's because they have little anty bodies

Days ago, i learned how to crack neck. The sound and feeling are really satisfying.

Although the bodies are starting to pile up.

Why were the ants unaffected by the covid virus?

They have lil anty bodies.

What is another name for all the bodies of water on the Earth?

Cloud Storage.

(Original joke!)

Bad joke incoming

4 Norse gods, 1 roman god, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar. The bartender says "This is gonna be a week joke"

I know for a fact corporations are trying to put chips in our bodies

Lay's and Ruffles are buy one get one free at the grocery store

Did you know that ants can't contact COVID-19?

Because they have anty bodies.

My friend just sent me a phenomenal joke and I'm mad at her for being funnier than I am. Suffer with me.

Two guys are walking through the debris of a terrible accident. There are decaying bodies all around. The air is heavy and foreboding. The stench is putrid.

One of them starts having a coughing fit because the smell is so overwhelming. The other guy goes, hey are you alright? What's with all the coughing? Do you need your inhaler?

The coughing guy goes it's miasma....

What do Smash Mouth do in Physics class?

Sum bodies

I was driving with my wife recently and we were talking about what we wanted to happen to our bodies when we died. I want to be cremated and put in a pot of chili. She asked why.

So I can tear that ass up one last time.

Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women's bodies.

Women's heads are much harder to put back on in real life.

A small airplane crashes into the ground in a small town, and some curious locals go to the crash site to see what happened.

Some of the locals start digging to see if there are any survivors trapped in the plane.

A few hours in, they give up the search and one of the locals goes back to his house and tells his wife what happened.

He tells his wife that there were over 1000 bodies found in the crash site, but no survivors were found.

Oh my god, where did it crash? the wife asked in shock.

In the town cemetery. the husband replied.

A man asks an undertaker "how many bodies are buried in this cemetery"?

He replies with "All of them."

I'm sick of the double standard…

When I burn a dead bodies at the mortuary, I'm doing a good job. When I burn dead bodies at home, I'm destroying evidence.

Why aren't ants getting covid?